Breathing in Stereo
by bunnytaps
Summary: Jessica was sure Kilgrave had died, she had felt his neck snap between her hands. Yet here she was laying in bed, hearing him breathe, hearing his voice late at night. Upon waking she is quick to blame drunken hallucinations, but can't shake the feeling something is terribly wrong. Things become even stranger, finding a slip of paper tucked under her pillow with a phone number...
1. Chapter 1

I lived alone. For the purpose of being alone. I didn't want, welcome or seek company, yet it always found me. I could lock my door, shut everyone out with a cold gaze, keep my head down, but by whatever fucked up power that be I simply wasn't meant to be alone. Eventually I let a handful of people in, l became used to some degree of company, some semblance of friendships. I still ate alone, showered alone, drank alone, slept alone. Nothing is more unnerving than laying down to sleep and waking up in the middle of the night, breathing in stereo.

I wasn't a stranger to the weird, the dark, conflict...you name it I'd probably seen it, done it or heard it before. Living in the city alone got you adjusted to the less savory aspects of life. Homelessness, drunkness, drugs, screaming. It was all a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of things. This was different, I didn't dare turn to see who it was. I didn't want to. Even with Kilgrave dead I was haunted with remnants of paranoia that he was still here. It wasn't Luke, he'd been gone for a couple weeks now doing God knows what. Shifting a bit, I feigned a sleepy groan to see if it halted the breaths. Still there.

"Oh how I missed you Jessica," a crisp accent slurred, I felt my blood run cold. Fuck it all, fuck my mind. I tried to remain calm, continue to feign sleep. I had to be dreaming this, I wouldn't even write of the possibility of drunken hallucination. I'd seen him die, truly die this time. Felt his neck snap in my hands, "I know you will never forgive me, after all I've done. I treasure these little visits." plural. Visits. If I wasn't hallucinating that means he had been in my room while I was sleeping before. I felt goosebumps rise on my skin, "They're the only chance I have to really see you, even if you are asleep. It gives me some semblance of peace. I imagine your responses to my little rambles, defiant as they'd be. Rude. Crass. Oh Jessica, one day I'll gather the courage to see you when you're awake again," I couldn't help but listen to this hallucination go on and on. It sounded so real. Eventually I succumbed to sleep once more, as unnerved as I was I simply couldn't keep my eyes open any longer.

The morning was equally as strange. As I stumbled around my apartment there wasn't any evidence anyone had been in besides myself. My door was even properly locked. If I indeed had been as drunk as I was last night it was actually more shocking my door was locked. I wasn't a very careful person considering how little I feared outside of him. I sat down on the couch as I tugged on my jeans I had abandoned and contemplated the meaning of hallucinating Kilgrave's voice, his breath beside me in my bed. I wandered back into my bedroom to examine the room once more. The more I woke up, the more suspicion I had that perhaps it was real. Nothing seemed particularly out of place, but something was sticking out from under the second raggedy pillow I kept on the bed for when Luke spent the night. Raising a brow I leaned over the bed and tugged a scrap of paper from under the pillow. A phone number. Now, I knew myself. It could be something I got from a client, a random in the bar thinking he had a shot. It was a relief in all actuality that it was just a phone number. No creepy cursive scrawl or threat laden with a feeling of impending doom. I took out my phone and input the number, wasn't one I had saved. I paced back and forth in my room, to call or not to call.

The decision fell to the wayside, it was too early to be making decisions. Albeit, any time before 8 at night was generally too early to be making decisions. The mid-afternoon sun streamed in through the windows casting light onto the beat up hardwood floors, highlighting specks of dust floating through the air. I'd settled into my desk, checking emails, sipping a bottle of some no-name whiskey I'd come across for cheap. The taste made me want to wrinkle my nose, I was used to strong liquor, but this bottle was something nasty. I kept looking at the slip of paper, it'd come to settle on the corner of my desk furthest from my reach. Narrowing my eyes I picked up my phone, this was a Trish decision.

"Hey Jessica, you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay, if I wasn't I wouldn't be calling you I'd probably be dead or dismembered,"

"Only asking because usually you only-"

"Only call you when I need something," I smirked, despite all we had been through in the past few months she still didn't entirely trust me. Honestly, I didn't blame her, "Trish I found a phone number on a slip of paper in my bed with a phone number on it. Maybe it's a burner of Luke's...he never really struck me as the type though. I mean he has slept with a married woman before, maybe I'm the other woman. Though, if I was his ass would be dead,"

"You haven't texted it?" I could hear her labored breathing, she was probably mid-workout.

"No, I figured I'd ask you your thoughts first,"

"Jessica, you also never care about my opinion,"

"Okay, I had a weird dream, hallucination or something last night. I was laying in bed, woke up and I heard breathing right?" I took a deep breath as I felt my chest begin to constrict, "Breathing and Kilgrave's voice. He was just talking about visiting me at night and how he wants to make up or whatever," that whole sentence sounded so full of bullshit.

"Were you drunk?" she didn't seem even the slightest bit panicked. I didn't know whether to be offended or thankful she was being the calm to my crazy.

"When I went to sleep yes, I'm pretty sure I was sobering up when I woke up,"

"It was probably just a drunken hallucination then Jess, we both saw him die. No more whiskey before bed,"

"Thanks mom," I snorted.

"I feel like universally it just gives people weird dreams y'know? Anyways, text that number. Maybe it is Luke. Hey, if he is playing the field without telling you I'll join in on kicking his ass,"

"Trish, I would pay to see you try. Alright, I'll update you later on the whole strange number situation. Enjoy your workout," I hung up without another word. I was going to say I love you but it was still strange being so open with her about my feelings. I fiddled with my phone, looking from the slip of paper to the phone screen repeatedly. Not now, not yet. I went back to checking my emails, responding to potential clients. Whoever's number it was, they could wait a bit longer.


	2. Chapter 2

The afternoon had dragged on, minutes felt like hours. Despite polishing off a whole bottle of some particularly smokey scotch and a rather entertaining scathing email from a husband (who was very upset with the truth), the day couldn't have moved any slower. The sun had begun to set and I couldn't help but eye the slip of paper I had so carefully placed outside of my reach. To call or not to call...could make a damn soliloquy with all the back and forth. I rolled my phone between my palms, staring into the wall in front of me. I, Jessica Jones, was no coward, but something about this scenario made my stomach turn. Flipping it open I rolled my thumb over the buttons, mentally rehearsing what I would say upon calling.

"Hey, whoever you are this little phone number thing isn't funny I-" the phone in my hand began to ring. My heart was beating hard and fast. I quickly scanned the numbers on the screen, scrambling to reach across my desk for the slip of paper. It was the same number. The same. Before I could think it through I answered.

"_Hello Jessica_," my blood ran cold. There was no way in absolute hell he could still be alive. Not after everything I'd been through, we'd been through, "You know me, I am terribly impatient. It just gave me such a little thrill that you had finally found the paper. It has been there for a while, a couple weeks at most. I really cannot recall when I left it," his voice was mischievous, wicked, a playful lilt.

"Whoever this is, this is a cruel trick,"

"Jessica, love. You know it's not a trick. You are far too clever to fall for something so childish," he spat that word out like a piece of flavorless gum, "Not my Jessica. Or have you lost your edge since I've been gone?" the reality was sinking in. He was back. This was no mere figment of my imagination. It was a waking nightmare.

"I felt your neck snap between my hands," I had begun to pace around the room, the floorboards creaking beneath my feet.

"And I felt like I had experienced chiropractic bliss," he snickered, "No, really. It was quite painful. You know me though, always a few steps ahead of your games. It was really quite disappointing when you did that, awfully rude. Though I have to say if your smile was the last thing I saw before I died I could die happy," he paused, "Speaking of happiness, join me Jessica. For a drink, tonight,"

"And if I say no?" I was simply drinking this all in. It was too much, sensory overload. The crisp cool of his voice through the phone, the room felt like a tilt-a-whirl and I was in for one hell of an unpleasant ride.

"If you say no? Jessica, I think after you damn near killing me, twice I might add, I'm a changed man. No consequences. Join me at your leisure," I raised an eyebrow. What a load of horseshit.

"Where?" I couldn't help but feel like I was a fiddle being played as everything around me burned, but I found my curiosity overtook my reason.

"I will text you the address, it is a private residence. Just forewarning you," his voiced smiled, "I really would rather avoid putting you on the defensive,"

"A private residence? You mean another family home you've invaded and begun to leech off of you slimy fuck-," I inhaled sharply through clenched teeth, halting myself, "Fine, tonight," he laughed.

"Ta-ta Jessica," I hung up. My world was spinning, drenched in shades of purple. I couldn't believe the conversation I just had, let alone what I had just agreed to. A date, in private, with my supposedly dead bastard of an ex. If I had been born normal, none of this freak-power crap I'd be one of those women that shows up dead in a ditch someplace because of their shit taste in men. Flipping my phone between my hands, I debated on telling Trish. I know it had been rough for her the first time finding out he was back, how much danger it put her in. I know I'd promised to stop facing everything alone and start asking for help, but I couldn't help but feel this was different. Kilgrave was _my_ problem, always had been. If he was back and still unable to control me, I could face him alone. Easy peasy.

I stopped pacing finally, realizing I had been at it for a good ten minutes after the call, it was time to get ready. Daylight had already been waning and the sunset came crashing in. I believed him when he said no consequences, about 90%, but even still I was skeptical that it was 100% true. I wasn't going to primp and prep, he was getting me. Not the idea of me he fell in love with. It'd be gracious enough I showered and brushed my teeth, I even put on tinted chapstick. Pretty fancy shit if you ask me. Clean clothes, I left the little bit of blood that had dried around the cuffs of my leather jacket. A reminder for him that he was still playing with fire. I looked at myself in the dirty, shattered bathroom mirror. Good enough. He'd seen me worse and if he argued I looked bad I'd just shove my fist through his pompous smile and break his teeth.

Kilgrave had sent me the address moments after the phone call ended, I hadn't even bothered checking where it led. Most of me didn't even want to know. Private residence. That just sounded like an all around scam. Like he'd fucked up another innocent family's life or decided to start squatting in an unsold property. Only one way to find out. I chose to walk there, it wasn't actually very far away from the apartments I lived in. That alone sent shivers down my spine. How long had I been living near my worst enemy? My mind was so busy racing I had hardly noticed when the gps on my phone pinged with a little "arrived". I looked up from the sidewalk, it was an apartment complex. My phone buzzed, Kilgrave. I guess I had to be buzzed in. I raised my brows, was he living in an actual apartment...renting? Like a human being?

"I'm here, asshole," I pushed the talk button.

"Come on in, fifth floor. Flat 508," he sounded chipper, proud. Maybe it really was his own place. How was he affording it? The door buzzed, I swung it open and made my way up the stairs. It was a decent complex, the molding wasn't moldy. Stairs didn't creak. No scuttling bugs or rats. I counted every step of the stairs on my way up, breathing deliberately slow in an attempt to slow my heartbeat. I was at the fifth floor too soon. Knocking on the door of apartment 508.

"Ah, Jessica. You made it! Excellent, excellent. I really cannot wait to show you around," Kilgrave had opened the door with a beaming smile, he had leaned in as if to give me a hug but quickly reeled back. Smart man, "Come in, come in. If you want to hang up your...coat," he eyed me up and down, "There is a rack to the left,"

"Great, I guess...," I stepped in, this felt like a twilight zone episode. Some weird alternate universe where Kilgrave was some sort of normal, "So, who'd you displace?" I grimaced looking around. No signs of struggle, no blood...just a living space full of mismatched furnishings. A far cry from the sleek, yet opulent environments Kilgrave adored.

"Only the old tenants," he realized quickly he hadn't made himself clear enough, "No, no not like that. I am legally renting this flat. Their lease ended last month, don't look at me like that. I am done with the whole...killing and torturing shenanigans,"

"Okay," I raised a brow, "How are you affording it?" Kilgrave opened his mouth and closed it, furrowing his brow.

"Let me pour you a drink first, it's...a wild ride," he stepped out of the living room through an arch, "I would ask what you want, but I know the answer. I have one bottle of whiskey," his voice echoed, "I won't even attempt to convince you to share some wine with me,"

"How considerate," I replied with an eye roll, wandering about the room, running my fingers along the various furnishings.

"Trying Jessica, I am trying," he came back out with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and a glass of red wine in the other, "A cab for the cad and a bottle for the lady," he handed the bottle to me.

"No glass?" I smirked, "You're still an insufferable prick, but at least you do actually know me,"

"I would prefer if you used a glass, but I won't fight you on it. I have decided to start trying the whole, being considerate thing. It is definitely not easy. Please, sit," he gestured to the hideous floral couch that served as the centerpiece of the living space.

"Where in the fuck did you find this?" I went to sit.

"Side of the road," and as quickly as I'd sat I bolted up eyeing the couch, "I sanitized it appropriately. No bugs, just some wear and tear," I sat back down and he joined me.

"So tell me exactly how you afford this space? And right after that I want an answer as to why your ratty ass has been sneaking into my apartment," I had to try my best to not grip the bottle of whiskey too tight and shatter it. Despite feeling somewhat at ease, he was still a threat.

"Well, I did acquire a meager inheritance from dear Mummy and Daddy. That is what got me started once I was...dead for a little while. It is incredibly difficult navigating how long to be gone for before coming around to try and claim money," he took a sip of his wine, crossing his legs, "I managed it though, didn't have much for furniture so it's a little kitschy for my taste for now,"

"And how are you going to continue paying for it without taking advantage of some poor sucker who crosses your path?"

"I am in the market for work, haven't been able to find much. There is a promising gig though working for a bar further in the city, pouring drinks sounds preferable to bagging groceries or getting my hands dirty doing something nefarious,"

"Impressive. The master manipulative mooch, making his own living. So now that that's out of the way...what in the absolute fuck made you think you can slip into my apartment and sleep in my bed at night you pervert,"

"I simply don't have a bed and was sick of sleeping on the couch," okay that was a bold faced lie, I stood up and grabbed him by the shirt.

"Tell the truth," I sneered.

"Put me down, Jesus Christ Jessica!"

"Truth first,"

"Fine! I did it because I am a pervert. For fuck's sake please put me down," being held by the silky fabric of his dress shirt was making him squirm, "You will damage the shirt!" I put him down, "I missed you, I knew I could do it. So I did,"

"Do that again and I will bash your brains in and then I will know you're dead for good,"

"I will not do it again, you have my word. Unless of course you invited me to," I couldn't roll my eyes hard enough to express my disdain.

"And why the fuck would I do that you puke?"

"I am getting clean, I have used my powers twice since I died. Once to avoid getting recognized and once because I needed food," Kilgrave seemed uncomfortable with having to scrape by. He deserved it, "And I still love you Jessica,"

"Oh really? You love me, huh? Do you love me or Jessie," I took a large swig from the bottle of whiskey. It scorched my throat all the way down and I coughed.

"I am learning to love you for you," He set his glass of wine down on the floor, "There are certain things I may never like about you, but I could learn to love them," there was something strangely sincere about his tone. The softness of his eyes matched.

"You disgust me," I stood up, trying to keep up the walls, "but...I guess I'm glad you're doing some form of right. One step out of line though and I will make sure third time's a charm,"

"I...appreciated you spending time with me this evening. I just wanted to finally make you aware of me. It took me a month or so to set up and really have any proof I have been trying the whole normal lifestyle,"

"You're welcome, I guess. Just don't fuck it up. For everyone else's sake," I made my way to the door, "I'm taking this on the road," I raised the half empty bottle of whiskey with a tense grin.

"I wasn't planning on drinking it anyways. Goodnight Jessica," he didn't even get up, try to touch me. Try to keep me there. As I closed the door behind me I felt a chill come over me. I feared him, distrusted him, but here he was with all the evidence that he was getting right. If he was going to be living so close, I wouldn't have a choice but to tell everyone. Unless he just used his powers to keep anyone from recognizing him...maybe I'd leave that in his hands. My head hurt with all the different scenarios, what could go wrong or right. All I could do was focus on walking home and hoping the whiskey would keep the thoughts from running too deep.


End file.
